1.21.2018

Hope


  Hope: a desired expectation
   I used to think that hope was basically the same thing as wishing for something, but I've learned that a "wish" is far to flimsy to be compared to "hope". Hope has solid footing. Hope, while different goes hand in hand with faith. Faith is essentially trust. You can't hope for something without first having faith in something.

   I'm a hope filled person. I live my life in such a way that I'm hoping for things to come. The issue is, my hope is typically too focused on the thing I want to happen, and not placed in the one who will never let me down. So, when something changes and hope is taken out of a situation, I'm left in a place of despair. Instead of having faith in Abba, and hope for His desires for my life, I tend to have faith in what "I" can make happen, or faith in another person. Basically, building my house on sand instead of solid rock.

  It is my firm belief that God made me a person who hopes easily and passionately, for a reason. I don't want the harshness of the world to steal my hope, and I know that if I have to deal with heartache again and again, it will. That means, I need to learn to carefully place it on a solid foundation, and not one which will crumble and fall. Just something I'm learning and working on.

1.07.2018

2017-2018



   Ever since the fall of 2014 when I attended G42U, I can safely say that each year has only gotten better. Not that I haven't had struggles and hard times, but something shifted that year. I know a piece of that is my relationship with God grew in a huge way, which means that my out-look on life changed. Suddenly I had this deeper understanding of the love of my Father, which gave me more hope and in turn I was filled with more joy.

   2017 was no exception. 2017 was the year that I really got plugged into Rockpile Church. It was the year I grew vocally by learning how to harmonize. It was the year that I made a whole bunch of friends. In 2017 I found a job that I truly enjoy. I was blessed with another niece, giving me 10 nieces and nephews. I spent my first Christmas away from home with amazing friends in Ruidoso, New Mexico. I learned a lot about myself in 2017.

   I begin 2018 with hope for my future. I have so much that I want to accomplish this year.
I want to continue to grow musically. Vocal growth will always be a focus of mine, but this year I'm adding learning to play the piano.
I want to get back into reading. Not just the fiction books that I love, but also a long list of non-fiction books I've been wanting to dig into.
I honestly don't know what 2018 has to bring me. I don't know if it will be the year I go back to school. I don't know if it will be the year I move out of Texas (or at least out of the hill country). Maybe in 2019 I'll look back and there will be no major physical changes, but so much internal change.

  Abby and I had some really good hangout time the other night and in that, we spent some time waiting on the Lord for words for each other's year. For me, Abby got a few pictures:
1) I was on a boat and I was reading one of those fishing radars that tracks movement.
2) I was in Big Bend leading a group of people through the canyon in which my friends and I had such a bad experience (long story if you haven't heard it). I was telling them what they should and shouldn't do, speaking from a place of experience. She said that she could see me doing that with people. That she felt the picture meant that I had experience and wisdom to share.
3) Next, I was in a doctor's office. The doctor was listening to my heart and clicks his tongue saying "This isn't good. You haven't been silly enough.". He told me I had been caring too much what people thought of me.
4) Last, she saw me walking across a stage to get my college degree. I was so chill about it, like I didn't see it as a big deal. I just bound across the stage, took the diploma, and said peace out. I hopped off the stage and got into a spaceship haha. She felt that it was just saying that a college degree isn't a make it or break it for me.


  I'm excited to see what 2018 has for me. Obviously I have my dreams for the year, but I know that no matter what, it will be an awesome year. So here's to a year of seeking His face and seeking the hearts of those around me. Here's to learning how to let my silly show and not give a crap what people might think.