Anyone who knows me would tell you I am no social butterfly. It's not as if I'm antisocial or anything, I was just made to love small groups and one on one time. Give me a sit down with one or two people and I'm thriving. God made me to be relational.
I recently got a word that some kind of change would be coming in seven months, and a friend suggested that I focus on a few things in that time. Things I want growth in or that I want to change. Well, I have the things I already had on my brain, such as getting back into shape and being committed to time with God everyday. Those are God goals, and I will be working on them, but I felt like there was something more.
I was just journaling (it's the best way for me to sit down and talk to God) and it dawned on me that I have some longings for change and growth relationally with Family members and some friends.
I am a relational person, and the devil likes to attack that by filing my head with lies of not being wanted. This is something I intend to overcome with the help of my heavenly Father. I thrive in relationships. It's my love language. I feel valued when people spend time with me. So I'm not going to let the devil take this from me anymore.
Lookout world. I have something to offer.
I find myself in a place of not knowing what the heck I even want from my life. I mean, I know big picture stuff, but details, I have no idea. It's easy to make the blanket statement of wanting to make a difference, etc, but not so easy for, me personally, to even know what I want. I have the day off today, and I literally spent my morning trying to just figure out how I wanted to spend my day.
It's been awhile since I've really sat down and just journaled, so I decided to go to the great local coffee shop and just journal for a bit. Let me tell you, I don't know why I don't just do that first. Before even thinking about anything else.
Guys, I got a pretty cool picture for 2017, from my friend: " So I got this picture of a little yellow mug. I saw it sitting before you and I heard the Lord say ' you want some coffee, reach for the mug ' . I kept seeing different scenarios for different things you wanted and the means to have it was set before you in your reach. It was an exciting feeling that all you had to do was reach out and grab it! The mug being bright yellow and vibrant made me feel hope, comfort, belonging. Extend your arms.
I feel yellow about your life. Sunshine, music, joy, youthfulness, hope, delight, future, dancing, lightheartedness.
This is so exciting to me! It filled me with almost a heavy feeling though. I thought it meant that I had to figure out what He wants to give me, but He reminded me today, that it's not about that. It's about living a life of seeking His face. It's about laying my life down at His feet and then taking His hand to hold through life.
I haven't really been living a life of surrender. Like at all. Which is a problem unless I like being stressed out and aimless. For the record, I don't. So I mean... maybe it would be a good idea to surrender. Its my goal to be able to look back at this year and be able to see the pattern of my good good Father. Not to look back and see a list of things that I did. I don't ever want that to be my life. God's story is so much better than mine.
It was the year that took me to live across the world, giving me one of the most amazing experiences of my life. It was the year I got my first adult job. It was the year I moved into the first place I truly felt I could call *mine* (aside from the house I grew up in).
It truly was an amazing year for me. It had some rough patches, but as a whole, it was incredible and stretching and full of growth.
I read a lot of books in this year (and watched a lot of movies and tv but I didn't keep track of that.). Here's the results:
JanuaryHouse of Hades- Rick Riordan
Popular- Tindell Baldwin
The blood of Olympus- Rick Riordan
When a good God allows rape-Joy Tan-Chi Mendoza
Paper towns- John Green
The 5th Wave- Rick Yancey
The Infanite Sea- Rick Yancey
The Martian- Andy Weir
Just Friends- Jenn Faulk
Stuck in the middle- Virginia smith
Age before beauty- Virginia Smith
Third time's the charm- Virginia Smith
Love does- Bob Goff
Anne of Green Gables- Lucy Maud Montgomery
Pride and Prejudice- Jane Austen
Till Death Do Us Part- Mike and Patti Paschall
Anne of Avonlea- Lucy Maud Montgomery
Anne of Island- Lucy Maud Montgomery
Anne of Windy polpurs - Lucy Maud Montgomery
Run- Ln Cronk and Jen Faulk
Happily Ever After- Jen Faulk
Black- Ted Dekker
Red- Ted Dekker
The Girl on the Train- Paula Hawkins
Needless to say that during time in the Philippines, I read a lot. This also doesn't count my favorite series which I re-read. It has 9 books.
I have big plans for this year. Plans of even more growth. Plans to spend more time loving people, and a lot less judging them. I plan to trust God more each day. I plan to invest greatly in relationships. I plan to get back into shape and eat less junk food (I know I know, that's what everyone says.).
I have no doubt that 2017 will be amazing.