The Hardest Thing I've Ever Experienced
I've had a pretty easy life. I've never been abused, my parents are still married, I even grew up in a family who had enough money to get me my needs *and* wants. I consider myself blessed. I have experienced a few truly hear wrenching times, though.
I would have to say, leaving the Philippines was the hardest thing I've ever done. Now I don't know if it truly is, or if it's simply the freshest, but never the less, it's how I feel.
For three months I threw myself into the Filipino culture. I ate their food, attempted to speak their language, and really just did my best to be "one of them". During that time, I built friendships and created bonds. I "adopted" many little brothers and sisters. I went to the Philippines already being in love with it from my prior visit, but those three months made that country, those people, part of me.
|Ate Sha (Sharon)|
|El, Ervin, and Agaton|
It's as if someone branded my heart. There isn't a day that goes by, that I don't think about the Philippines. Whether it be that I'm thinking about someone I love who is Filipino, reminiscing about the amazing times I had, or even dreaming about what kind of role the Philippines plays in my future, it crosses (and often stays for awhile) my mind everyday. I miss that beautiful place. I miss the smiling faces and the constant music.
Sometimes I feel lonely in America. I sometimes miss my "me" time always being in public places, surrounded by people who would stop and stare at me because of my white skin. I miss the surprised look I always got when I said a word or two in Tagalog. I miss being called "Ate" everywhere I go.
|Donna Grace <3|
Leaving the Philippines ripped a part of my heart. It was almost more than I could bare. Being away is almost more than I can bare some days. Hard doesn't even begin to explain it.